Sometimes that song comes on your iPod that sparks a memory from another time. That song for me was "Just like Heaven" by The Cure. Hearing that song always reminds me of Peter. It also reminds me of the time I thought I had my life all mapped out. I would go to Buffalo, get my MLS, go back to Southern California and work happily as a librarian and maybe start a family with Peter. Seriously, that was my plan. What I didn't count on was how much I hated library stuff and realized very quickly that a career as a librarian would not make me happy. Almost immediately my life started to crumble. I traveled 3,000 miles to get a degree in a profession I didn't even want to do. And for months I was unhappy. I asked my mom for advice and all she kept saying was "get your shit together". That wasn't really advice at all, but she was telling me was to make it happen, whatever it is I needed to make happen. And I did. I sought a new career path that I know would make me happy and along the way lost a relationship.
Flash forward one year from then. Stuck in NYC, I questioned whether or not I had chosen the right career. I wasn't happy at my job. I didn't like the people, I didn't really like New York, I was getting way underpaid in a city which is super expensive. It wasn't a happy time. I was assigned a mentor at my job, and when I told him about my severe unhappiness, he said to me "you got to find your thing". And for months later, he would bump into me in the hall and ask me "did you find your thing yet?"
It seems there are a few people in my life who are struggling to find "their thing". I know what its like to be lost. I was lost most of my life, and I'm sure at some point in the future, things will shift course again and I will have to re-evaluate some decisions and choices to keep going in the right direction. My advice to those struggling is to never stop looking. Be open to new opportunities and don't dwell on mistakes. Take stock of how to do things differently and don't do it again.
I realize now that without all the mistakes and struggles and bad decisions I've made in my life, I wouldn't be the person I am. It's those road blocks in life that build character. I'm happier then I've been in a long time. Finally, I found my thing.
4 comments:
OMG I love, love, love this! I feel like no one gets what it's like to go so far as to move to another city to "find your thing". People thought I was crazy, but now that I feel like I've found it, I feel like they're the crazy ones for not searching hard enough.
It's the best validation though once you feel like you have found it. All the rest (such as having a significant other) doesn't seem as important once your other shit is in place.
i think that "finding your thing" is part of the journey that is life. and while, yes, i do struggle every so often, i also appreciate the ride along the way, which is where im at right now. everyone is on a different path, and i think its important for you to not just realize that, but be a little more sensitve in applying that theory to others. and by others i mean frank. =)
strangeltlgirl:
I think moving away from your comfort zone is absolutely on the path to "finding your thing". Any situation that makes you uncomfortable or encourages some type of growth is key . And I agree that it is a search, and for some it can take a lifetime. But for those of us who are lucky to find it, understand that it was worth the wait.
muzik2477:
Part of the reason I wrote this blog was to remember the difficulty I had trying to "find my thing". I know my life looked all glossy from the outside but from the inside it was anxiety-ridden and depression-laden. My life was not what I had expected and once I realized that, I had to figure it out.
I realize that others are on a different path. Sometimes you just wish that they could see what you see. But I understand now that sometimes what people see isn't really how things are. My path is to accept that others are on a different journey in life--and respect that.
You know its hard for me, soy Latina.
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