I feel like I'm on this never ending quest to gain respect from the people I work with and I feel like I haven't been given the opportunity. On the same token, I'm worried that if I get the opportunity I will fail. I tell myself that I am good at what I do, and I do believe that deep down. So why is it so hard for me to believe it completely?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
A perception problem
I've come to realize I have a perception problem. I take some things very personally, but its difficult to offend me. Let me explain. I tend to view my workplace as a war zone. I feel that people do not like me, mostly because I feel that people generally do not like me. I grew up a loner and didn't make a lot of friends in school. I have also known people who pretended to like me and didn't like me at all. So I assume people at work don't like me. I also have a tendency to feel that because I get shitty projects, maybe my managers don't think much of me. I'm paranoid that people are talking about me professionally, saying I'm not good at what I do. I don't know how to let this go. I'm pretty sure its paranoia rooted from some professional lack of confidence.