Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The epiphany

a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

Last night I put up my resume, and shed more tears. My eyes are bubbly from all the crying and I felt as if someone had died, that's how emotional I was. While I was sleeping, I woke up and I just knew I'm supposed to stay. I looked over my portfolio and was looking at some things I needed to fix and add. I'm also thinking I need buy some webspace again. But, I came to a realization that I am supposed to stay and work here. I will continue to put together my resume and portfolio, because it should always be ready.

Having this insight has brought me a new strength. Now that all the senior people on my team are gone, I am the only one left who can take a leadership role. My other co-worker is in India for a month, and he's worked there about 3 months longer than me, but he's not the leadership type. I realized that I have been taking on the complex projects that our senior person should have been working on but hasn't been for the last 6 months because she was out from illness and family issues. I realize that for the last few months, I've been trying to bring more awareness to our team, and that the seed planted for the presentation was completely my idea. I also realize that for the last 6 months, I have been the cheerleader for our team. Suddenly, I see the myriad of opportunity for me now that the dust has settled.

I also see that I will need to very quickly be ready to take on just about anything that comes my way in terms of projects. We are a small team now, but we work on a lot of projects. I'm going to need to be ready to take everything coming to me and the transitional elements needed to keep our team running. I think its going to be a long dark tunnel ahead, but there could be a silver lining in the end.
I feel like I'm starting to see the edges of it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I"m glad there's a silver lining. Hopefully this will be your opportunity to learn everybody else's skills and fill in any gaps in your current knowledge. Then you will definitely be more marketable in the future!