Wow. let me just say that I am sorry she did that and you have nothing to worry about. I was affraid of this. she got some idea that I was carrying on with you behind her back. but honestly I was surprised when she said you had moved back. The fact is I have missed talking to you very much and I even thought of contacting you but decided you would have told me you were moving back if you had any interest in talking to me.
She and I did break up. I'm sorry she went to you and I'm sorry that our friendship suffered as well.
Please don't be angry with me.
thank you for letting me know.
Just in case you don't reply...
I didn't want those things to be the last things I said to you. I want you to know that I was proud of you when I heard you had accomplished your goal. I hope everything is going well in your life. You're so strong I knew you would conquer those challenges before you.
While I do believe that he does miss our conversations and "friendship" It's not a real apology for me. In fact its not an apology at all. Maybe we could of stayed friends, but he just treated me so unfairly. I was real with him and he constantly diminished any importance I had in his life. When I told him I loved him, he responded by saying, "You're silly". When I wanted him to touch me or put his arm around me, he said, "I have to feel like I want to do that." His excuse for not coming to NYC to see me was, " I have to save money." And last but not least, the moment someone else came into the picture he tossed me out like old shoes. Completely willing to risk losing me for good.
And, of course that's exactly what happened. I don't know if I will ever understand why he treated me like that. We had so much fun together, we laughed a lot, talked about everything. I cared for him. I was loyal. I was a great friend to him. Somehow we had a friendship hybrid that wasn't quite to the level of a relationship, but was more than just fuck buddies. It had the promise to be more. I had been planning to leave NYC at that time to move back to California.
Flash forward three months later and I'm in California, they are no longer together and we no longer speak. I'm positive things would be different if he would have just waited for me instead of putting all his cards in the other girls deck. I knew I wanted to be in California regardless. But, he made his decision, and it changed all of our destinies.
His words don't mean anything to me anymore. I feel completely numb when I read them. But sometimes, when I think about us, all I see is a movie playing in my head that is woven together from our memories. Its undeniable that we got along very well. The struggle was mostly in the intimacy realm. And, he's correct in assuming that I won't reply. I won't ever reply. I don't ever want to speak to him again. This time its not because I'm angry, but nothing he can say will change anything. Its too bad really. It's possible that we could have been so much more right now. But, as Jean de la Fontaine said, "A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it"