Sometimes that song comes on your iPod that sparks a memory from another time. That song for me was "Just like Heaven" by The Cure. Hearing that song always reminds me of Peter. It also reminds me of the time I thought I had my life all mapped out. I would go to Buffalo, get my MLS, go back to Southern California and work happily as a librarian and maybe start a family with Peter. Seriously, that was my plan. What I didn't count on was how much I hated library stuff and realized very quickly that a career as a librarian would not make me happy. Almost immediately my life started to crumble. I traveled 3,000 miles to get a degree in a profession I didn't even want to do. And for months I was unhappy. I asked my mom for advice and all she kept saying was "get your shit together". That wasn't really advice at all, but she was telling me was to make it happen, whatever it is I needed to make happen. And I did. I sought a new career path that I know would make me happy and along the way lost a relationship.
Flash forward one year from then. Stuck in NYC, I questioned whether or not I had chosen the right career. I wasn't happy at my job. I didn't like the people, I didn't really like New York, I was getting way underpaid in a city which is super expensive. It wasn't a happy time. I was assigned a mentor at my job, and when I told him about my severe unhappiness, he said to me "you got to find your thing". And for months later, he would bump into me in the hall and ask me "did you find your thing yet?"
It seems there are a few people in my life who are struggling to find "their thing". I know what its like to be lost. I was lost most of my life, and I'm sure at some point in the future, things will shift course again and I will have to re-evaluate some decisions and choices to keep going in the right direction. My advice to those struggling is to never stop looking. Be open to new opportunities and don't dwell on mistakes. Take stock of how to do things differently and don't do it again.
I realize now that without all the mistakes and struggles and bad decisions I've made in my life, I wouldn't be the person I am. It's those road blocks in life that build character. I'm happier then I've been in a long time. Finally, I found my thing.