Let me start off by stating that I lost a total of 4 inches. Sounds like a lot, but I have like 4 more to go...
So apparently my dating woes are old hat for some of you (Shawn). But, I'm just going to reiterate on the fact that dating is horrible. I can honestly say I've never really dated before, so this is all new for me. Its horrible. It seems men make the decision on whether you will be ripe for the fucking or keep you as a potential mate. When did this happen? I was under the impression women made those decisions.
It seems lately I've encountered more and more men who have put me in the fuck pile without even really getting to know me. As a result, I'm forced to choose between a no-strings fuck or nothing at all. Choice seems clear right? Wrong. I don't know what's come over me, but I'm super horny lately. I think it has everything to do with the fact that I'm not on the pill anymore. Since I moved to San Jose, I can literally picture myself doing the naughtiest things with the most unsuspecting strangers. The guy shopping for Pine Sol at Target, one of my managers talking about timelines during a meeting, the guy at the gym sweating on his SJSU sweatshirt. It's ridiculous. Its completely out of hand, and the old tricks aren't working anymore.
Keep in mind, I've never had a one-night stand. I went on a date last night with the personal trainer guy that i've been sort of playing text tag with for the last few weeks. He was hot. When I say hot, I mean like real fucking hot. He looked like Vin Diesel but with blue eyes. He had a perfect smile. Our conversation went okay. He talked mostly about how he hit rock bottom when he turned a certain age and how he's looking for a girlfriend to love and respect. I didn't get the feeling he was bullshitting, but all I could think about is, "Well even if he's not interested, I might just fuck him."
I don't even recognize myself anymore. I have the co-worker thinking I'm a slut, I have the Brit saying I'm chaste. Who am I? Well it turns out that I might be Shawn. The more I realize all this shit about dating, the more I understand his jaded perspective and willingness to settle for physical attention. I totally get it now. Now I finally see what he sees, and the view isn't so good from here.