Friday, December 14, 2007

Fuck Buddies: Situations and Pitfalls

As a result of a pending proposition--I'm sure the co-worker is going to formally ask me to be his fuck buddy any day now. He came to my desk today to discuss in person that he is looking for a fuck buddy. It's rather funny actually. Who the hell says that shit? He does. I recommended that he try a White girl since he lamented on the fact that Indian girls live with their parents. As does he. (He's Indian too) I've basically deflected his prodding by suggesting that he go out and find someone to hook up with and to let me know how it turns out. He said he's never had a fuck buddy because he's only been with girls he's dated, but he's ready to enter the fuck buddy zone with someone. So, I gave him a shortened version of my personal view of the various fuck buddy situations which I've outlined below. In my opinion its not worth the drama. And in case you were wondering why I'm indulging him, well for two reasons, I'm entertained by the whole situation and I'm bored.

First off, the fuck buddy situation needs to be clearly outlined with both parties so there's no misunderstandings. In most scenarios, both parties need to be single. The underlying fact is that as soon as one person gets into a relationship, the sex usually ends. It might take awhile for the guy to stop, but once he gets really involved, he's going to cut you off.

Situation 1: The two people are actually friends and spend time together maybe even go to the movies and out to other places and then they fuck like wild dogs in heat. The sex is probably very sensual, because these two have a friendship and respect each other.

This sounds good in theory, but then it starts to feel like a real relationship, which both parties agreed they didn't want in the first place. Eventually problems arise because more than likely the girl was thinking of this guy as her boyfriend, until he states that he's interested in another girl. Then feelings get hurt, and once the sex stops it becomes really difficult to hang out with them without having sex and then eventually they stop speaking to each other. In this scenario you lose a friend and good sex.

Situation 2: The two people sorta know each other or they are more like acquaintences that may or may not even like each other. They agree the situation is simply for fucking. There are no frills or romance.

This is the standard 9pm booty call without eye contact and probably doggy style only. (So he doesn't have to look at you) You are just ass to him and he is just cock to you. When he's done, he's literally half way out the door and if you happen to orgasm, then its by sheer luck, because he didn't care either way.

This situation has the potential to get ugly. Meaningless sex for most people is just to get your jollies. After awhile, it isnt very good anymore. But, even in this case, the girl at some point will probably develop feelings for this asshole (because thats what girls do), or she will start to despise him and become disgusted by his every action and his selfishness.

In this scenario, it can go either way--either she dumps him because of her disgust, or he dumps her because he's moved on to new booty. There's a real good chance she'll get hurt either way though.

Sitation 3: In this sitation the two individuals do not live in the same state. So they only engage with each other sporadically throughout the year.

This is otherwise known as the Long Distance Fuck Buddy. This situation is advantageous for both parties, because the distance is a natural separation that prevents the usual build up of feelings that occur with frequent sex. This ends up being the "I'm in town" guy and has potential to last for years if both parties are open to it. And of course there are no hard feelings because both individuals are tied to their areas of residence. I find that this scenario works out the best. Its possible these two people have a real friendship and probably have very intimate sex.


sf said...

you know how i feel about all of this. you are taking it way too seriously. you flirted with him, and being a GUY, he got excited and tried to take it to the next level. so what. get over it and acknowledge your part in this.

cherie said...

why the attitude? i'm not taking it "serious" it sparked a blog. how many times should i tell you to "get over it" when you are crying on your blog about someone in your life? And since when do you acknowledge your part in anything. Thanks.