Goodbye 20's, Hello Sexual Peak

Holy shit. It's my fucking birthday and guess what...I'm exiting my fucking 20's. But I'm not afraid, because I have nothing but my 30's to look forward to, which supposedly is the key to sexual happiness. Bear with me folks, I'm drunk on 3 champagne cocktails but I'm about to bare some confessions. I haven't gotten laid since August, but the douchebag we shall call Chris. Sex with him was eh. I can say that now. It wasn't the best and it wasn't the worst. But, lately I've been having amazing sex. By myself. Who knew how amazing I was? And without the drama of another guy? Seriously, I can have multiples on my own now, something I could never do before. And I blame it all on becoming 30 soon. I realize before I know it I'm going to be 40 and still feeling like I'm fuckin' 24. But, I'm not thinking about that, I'm thinking about how amazing my 30s will be. Tomorrow, when I'm sober I'll tell you all about my day in the city. Right now I just wanted to let you know about my amazing sex life.